Training, Training, Training!

Goodness! It has been forever! I have been busy. I have lots I can talk about, several times in the past months I have had a workout or experience that I wanted to share, but never took the time. So if this blog comes out a jumbled mess I apologize, there is just too much going on in my brain, and I am not good at filtering.

I am so sick of training. I think I am experiencing a bit of a burnout, and I don’t like it one bit. I am trying to improve my biking, but it just feels like I am failing miserably. I could be completely wrong, and just a little discouraged, but it is just how I feel. My workouts seem slow and sluggish; I do them but don’t look forward to them. I have taken an extra day or two for rest, and lightened up a couple of workouts, and I feel a little better, but I dread the long runs and rides every weekend. It could be because I am alone doing them, having some friends to ride with I think would help tremendously. They are around, but schedules or training plans are not syncing. I understand what is happening, I know why, and I am trying to deal with it. I believe I started training hard too earl y for Ogden marathon, then basically when straight into hard training for my Tri’s in August. So I am trying to get by, get my workouts done, and trying to not over analyze or get discouraged. BAM is just four weeks away, and will be here before I know it. I am excited to do a race finally!

Meanwhile, I feel like I am walking on a thin line. My workouts seem hard, more mentally than anything! I don’t feel like I am enjoying them like I should. I dread my long bike rides most of all. Yesterday I just seemed to hit rock bottom. I was supposed to do 65-70 miles and struggled to 58, it was slow and lonely. I got off my bike and just cried, because I was mad I didn’t get the 65 or even 60, but I had no will to keep going. I was trying to fathom how on earth I am going to do my first Half if I can’t even do the bike ride. I know I made some mistakes before and during this ride, and I am hoping that those are the reasons it was so hard, and not that I just suck. I ran 14.25 miles the day before, and didn’t refuel properly after, then went rock climbing in the hot sun for a good 4 hours, tried to hydrate and refuel, but I am sure it wasn’t enough. Ate some pancakes and banana for breakfast, should have had more healthy carbs. On the ride I stopped at mile 23 only refueled with more water and a Hammer gel. Before I could get to next stop I was feeling slow, dizzy, had a headache, remembered I had a Luna bar in my jersey, and ate what I could, it wasn’t sitting well in my stomach. At mile 44 finally found another gas station, and got some Gatorade and salty cashews, I wanted to call someone to come get me, I wanted to be done. I didn’t want to give up, hoped finally getting some nutrition in me would give me some energy to get back. The dizziness eventually faded, but the headache stayed. I made my way back, should have gone a little more west for some miles I needed but it was uphill, and I just had nothing in me so I headed east back home, hoping I would at least get 60 miles in. I slowly made my way back, it seemed I had a head wind no matter what direction I went, and construction was everywhere and made getting back even slower. I was close to my house and realized I would be a little short of even sixty. I tried to think of an easy way to add more miles, but just getting up the last hill was all I could do. 57.75 miles, hit the grass lawn, layed down and cried. I was angry, felt like I failed! I hated my bike! Wondered if I was ever going to get better at riding, get faster, and how I was going to do a Half in just over a month!

I still don’t have the answers. My confidence is knocked down, especially about my ability to complete a Half distance Triathlon. I am completely resting today. NOTHING! No climbing, hiking, and doing my best to eat and refuel properly. I need to really work on my nutrition. I hope this week’s training will go more smoothly, and I will be able to see my improvements. I need a little boost, some encouragement, something to make me feel like all this training is going to show some good results.